i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have already put on my inside pants.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
