it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize