I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
