So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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