Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Randomize
Follow @tfln