the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.