First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.