i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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