who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
