it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
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You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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