He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize