I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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