He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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