The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT