You really coming over, don't trick.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?