but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.