life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.