I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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