Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize