A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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