and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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