i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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