would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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