I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
