So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
