I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
