recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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