hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All the doctor said was why
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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