Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...