he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.