Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.