I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.