my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present