No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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