Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
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Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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