it was like his penis was on wheels.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
