i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
