To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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