The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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