i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
