My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
