we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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