no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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