She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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