At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
