She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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