this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
even my farts smell like vagina
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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