just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
not ubering you a puppy
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