i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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