I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
BRING THE BAGELS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize