are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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