I didn't shave. On purpose
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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