When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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