You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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