Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize