yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
