i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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