According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
