I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
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No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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